On Personal Progress

So the YSA Sisternaries recently asked me to start working  on the Young Womens Personal Progress program.
I honestly didn't know how to feel about that. On one hand, when my sister told me her family ward was making her do that, I felt like I dodged a bullet by joining the Church as an adult because that meant I would get to skip out on all that extra work.
On the other hand, since joining, I've wondered how different my teen years might have been had I grown up with "For the Strength of Youth" and the other youth programs. So, part of me was annoyed because now I would have all this extra stuff to do, and I'm a little old to be toting around a Personal Progress notebook. Actually, when I went to the YSA temple baptism night, and I pulled it out to read and get started on one of the projects, people were giving me funny looks as if I am this sort of loser who is well past 18, and who still hasn't finished it. I felt like I flunked a grade, and every one knew it.
But, to their credit, once I told them I was a convert, and that my missionaries asked me to work on it, they changed their demeanor, and were eager to answer any questions I had.
Anyway, the sisters asked me to work on it, and to pick a value based on which attribute I scored lowest on in Preach My Gospel. So, I ended up picking Choice and Accountability. And it has been a real challenge. Even before they asked me to work on this, I have been struggling with making my scripture study and personal prayers a priority. I'm not really sure where I started slipping because I used to read the scriptures daily, and praying, well, I've never really been good at that, but I did it at least once a day. And now, I'm ashamed to say it's once every other day or so.
And I can feel that as I slip in these areas, I'm starting to feel less and less worthy to pray. And it makes it that much harder to do it. I know that this is the adversary at work, that he would have me believe that I am not worthy to pray, that I don't have time to pray, that I'm too tired to pray, etc., and praying is something that has always been difficult for me, and he's trying, and succeeding at making it harder for me.
The other day I reread my patriarchal blessing, and it says for me to make prayer a priority, to read the scriptures often, and to read the words of the modern prophets and leaders whenever it's made available. And I remember that at the time that my patriarchal blessing was given, I thought that that stuff was so obvious and that I didn't need to be told about that. But now that I am struggling in those areas, I see why the Lord gave that counsel. How foolish of me to think that I would never stop reading my scriptures, and stop praying. How foolish of me to think that the counsel given to me then wouldn't be useful to me someday. But how grateful am I now to have that counsel now when I really need it!
I know that when the Sisters proposed I take this on, I wasn't too thrilled about it. And it has been really difficult to do Personal Progress on top of every thing else I'm trying to work on. But I am so grateful that they did suggest it. I was struggling with scripture study and personal prayer before and I wasn't sure how to get back in the habit of it. With their help and their guidance, I have found a way. I don't think it's something I'll finish in a timely manner, but I feel like as long as I make a little bit of progress daily, then I'll be alright. :)
Peace out, y'all.

To Serve or Not to Serve, That is the Question

A little while before I had gotten baptized, I had a dream that I was serving a mission and teaching investigators in Spanish. I made the "mistake" of telling one of my friends from Church. At the temple one night, she commented on how my bag looks like such a "missionary" bag. I guess she had told Bishop Patton about this dream I had, because he then made a comment about how I would be serving a mission next March.
A few days later, the Sisternaries came over (for what I presume was supposed to be my new-member lessons), and asked about this dream. So I told them about it, and they began to tell me about the blessings I could receive from serving a mission.

Fast forward a few weeks, and I'm getting my patriarchal blessing. The Patriarch told me to fast and pray, so I did. I don't know why, but in my prayer, I asked to know whether I should serve a mission. And, boy, did I get my answer!
Over the next few days, I start to have doubts, and I convince myself, "The Patriarch probably tells everyone to serve a mission. After all, this church is known for service and spreading the gospel."

I turned to the scriptures, and I found Doctrine and Covenants Section ten, Verses eight and nine, which say,
"But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that is is right.
"But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you can not write that which is sacred save it be given you from me."

After reading that, I knew that the Lord truly does want me to serve a mission because I have felt it in my "bosom." And verse nine says that if it's not right, you will forget about it; but I can't seem to forget about it.
But I didn't want to go out and serve a mission just because I know that it's what the Lord wants. I didn't want that to be the only reason. As I struggled to find reasons why I wanted to go on a mission, I continued to read my scriptures. In Mosiah, chapter 2, verses 17 through 19 further convinced me why I should go.
"And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.
"Behold, ye have called me your king; and if I, whom ye call your king, do labor to serve you, then ought not ye labor to serve one another?
"And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!"

Moroni 7:47 tells us "charity is the pure love of Christ." I know charity involves serving one another. I know that if I truly love Christ, I must be willing to serve my fellow brothers and sisters, not just for eighteen months while I serve a mission, but forever. I know that not only does it make my Heavenly Father happy to see me serving my brothers and sisters, but it'll make me happy, too (Finding Joy through Loving Service).

I love reading conference talks. I have found so much insight, so many answers to my questions in the talks the leaders of the Church give. Reading Elder M. Russel Ballard's October 2008 conference talk (The Truth of God Shall Go Forth), I found the following:
"We are all needed to finish the work that was begun by those pioneering Saints over 175 years ago and carried out through the subsequent decades by faithful Saints of every generation. We need to believe as they believed. We need to work as they worked. We need to serve as they served. We need to overcome as they overcame."
I know that Satan is trying really hard to convince me not to go on a mission. But I also know that "no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing." No matter what happens, the gospel will always be heard. I know I'm going to serve a mission, and I'll probably be going out into the field in about a year. I know that it might be hard; I know that if, as missionaries, we are going to be representatives of Christ, we are going to experience a lot of what Christ experienced. But I know that it will also be worth it.
Helping the Sisternaries now (and not only from the YSA ward, but from the Reseda family ward as well), has been such a blessing. I have truly come to understand love better. I have grown to love those investigators. I have become more selfless in the process, and it truly does make me happy. Every time I help the Sisternaries teach a lesson, I cannot wait until the next lesson. I love it! I honestly feel like teaching lessons, and being a missionary, is something I was born to do. I know that the Lord put that in my patriarchal blessing for a reason!

I received my Patriarchal Blessing!

It was AWESOME! My youngest sister, Sofia, and Sister Olsen and Sister Moore went with me. As usual, the Sisternaries showed up late. Patriarch John has a sense of humor, so he told me to tell them not to let them into his house! But then he allowed them to be in his special-patriarchal-blessing-room during the blessing! It was so great. There were moments where he said certain things that made me nervous, but the Sisternaries were so excited about those same things; I could see their HUGE smiles from the corner of my eyes. haha!
I am so grateful that they were able to be there with me! I wanted to ask them as soon as I scheduled it, but I wasn't sure if it was normal, so I didn't. But last night they text me, and asked me if I would like them to join me! They said they got a prompting to ask! The Lord truly knows all! <3



Learn more about Patriarchal blessings by clicking the link below!

• Patriarchal Blessings