"Due to Inactivity, Your Blessings Have Been Suspended"

***(This post was started around October)***
The last couple of months, I have not only been inactive on this blog, I have also been less-active in the Church. I've never really been that great at reading the scriptures everyday or saying prayers twice a day, before meals, and as needed. I could make excuses, but I don't find them to be good enough. Sometimes, I just get lazy, and I choose to do silly things over spiritual things. But I didn't think that I was being less-active; I just thought I wasn't being proactive enough.
And then I was asked to be an ordinance worker at the temple. It came as a huge surprise to me. Not only was I willing to do it; I was excited, and honored to do it. But during my interview with the temple presidency, I got the impression that I would only be able to be an ordinance worker if I went in for the Saturday evening shift. And I happily agreed to this. My boss, on the other hand, was none too pleased because I already had Sundays off for church. We comprised, and I started coming in to work either before the three hour block, or after; and I would get Saturdays off. So, I began to work at the temple in mid-September.
I enjoy working at the temple more than I expected to. It has brought so much happiness and peace into my life, as well as greater understanding of the sacred ordinances performed in the temple. I've learned so much more from reading and studying the ordinance material than I have going to the temple as a patron. And I've met really great, loving, incredibly kind, and genuinely interesting people. I've learned so much from them!
But as great as Saturdays have been, my Sundays have been somewhat less that spectacular. I actually enjoy my job, and I especially enjoy my coworkers. All around, I'm pretty happy there. But I almost always end up staying at work later than I'm scheduled, which I usually don't mind, but I do mind on Sundays because it either prevents me from going to going to church, or it makes me extremely late.
So, I've pretty much missed church because I've been working at the temple. It's a strange feeling, to say the least.

***(Finally continuing this post, in January...)***

Since I began writing this post, a lot has happened. For starters, I switched from a Saturday shift at the temple to a Thursday night shift. I didn't really feel comfortable being an ordinance worker knowing I wasn't consistently going to church. And I also got called to be a Relief Society teacher. So, I really needed to be at church. I went back to having Sundays off at work, and I began working at the temple Thursday nights.
At first, I was a little bummed about leaving the Saturday night shift because most of the workers on that shift are near my age, and most of the workers on the Thursday night shifts are a lot older; I was worried that I would feel a little out of place. But I took a liking to those cute, little, old ladies! They are so sweet, and I love hearing their stories! I'm quite happy that I am on the Thursday night shift now.

But even with me working at the temple, and even though I feel worthy to do that, and worthy to enter the temple in the first place; at times, I still feel like I'm not active enough in the gospel.
A member of the L.A. Temple presidency said something to us a while back that I think about quite often. He mentioned that the correct way to be baptized is the way the Savior, Himself, was baptized; by full immersion. Every part of His body went under the water, and when we are baptized, every part of our bodies must also go under the water. Like Him, we must also be fully immersed. If we aren't fully immersed in the water during our baptism, it has to be done again. He then asked us if we were fully immersed in the gospel. And that really struck a chord with me.

It really made me question myself and my spiritual progress. Do my daily habits include enough prayers, or scripture studies? Are the things I watch or listen to good things, or do they drive away the Spirit? Would I be embarrassed or ashamed to be seen watching/listening to that particular thing if my Bishop was there? If my Savior was there? Similarly, are the words I use something to be proud of or something to ashamed of?

Lately, I've been feeling like life has been a little harder on me. And I believe it has every thing to do with the fact that I haven't been fully immersed in the gospel. I've been inactive in certain aspects of the spiritual things in my life; and I have felt the consequences of that. 

This reminded me of previous time in my life where the cable bill, or the cell phone bill wasn't paid on time, and you would either see a little window on your TV screen, or hear a message when you tried to make a phone call that told you that your account had been temporarily suspended because you failed to pay your bill on time.  

I felt that I was experiencing this with blessings from God. I felt like, because I had failed to do all the things I was supposed to be doing, I wasn't experiencing the usual blessings I had grown accustomed to. And I didn't really feel surprised because I felt I had brought it onto myself. I recognized that if I didn't make corrections in my life, I would continue having a difficult life. That is not to say that I wouldn't still have difficulties, but I know if I tried to do the right things, then I would be blessed for it. I know that with a little faith, and a little action on my part, my life would feel a lot better.

 And as I have tried to be more active in spiritual things, I have already seen some blessings restored. 

We Ain't "One and Done"

It's pretty common knowledge amongst the general Christian community that when you are baptized, all your mistakes, all your sins, all your transgressions, all your emotional baggage is washed away. And, of course, that is only possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. There is no other way to be made spiritually clean and pure again.
So, what happens if you mess up again after you've already been baptized? Is someone going to come and tell you that you blew your one chance? Is someone going to tell you that that was is it? That you're done now? But if you can't be baptized every time you get yourself "dirty," how can you be ever made clean again?
And the answer to that is the sacrament. Taking the sacrament is like virtually being baptized again. It's like being made clean all over again.

You don't realize what a blessing that is until you've hit a really low point again. 

Before I met the missionaries, I was pretty much at rock bottom; I was so lost and confused. They taught me about God's plan for us, God's plan for me. And they taught me more about what the Savior , and what He did for me. And when I was baptized, I felt a certain peace, a big weight lifted off my shoulders. It felt like a return of innocence that I lost a long, long time ago. 

Since my baptism, I have in no way been perfect. I have fallen short every week in one way or another. But most of my "sins" have been minor compared to what I was guilty of before my baptism. And I guess I believed they were pretty easy to get rid of. And then there were times where I didn't think I'd ever be able to be clean again. But through real and sorrowful repentance, by taking the sacrament, and committing to be better than I was the week the before, I was able to feel renewed again, to feel refreshed. I don't know how I used to deal with guilt before. I don't know how I used to let go of my mistakes before I learned how to really apply the Atonement. 

I'm just really grateful for the sacrament. I don't think I would have the courage, the will, to continue going to church if I had to continue to live with the mistakes I've made since I was baptized. I can't imagine how hard that would be. But I'm glad that I don't actually have to live with it, thanks to the Saviour.

Alma 24:30

"And this we can plainly discern, that after a people have been once enlightened by the Spirit of God, and have had great knowledge of this pertaining to righteousness, and then have fallen away into sin and transgression, they become more hardened, and thus their state becomes worse than though they had never known these things."

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been struggling a lot with doing the things I know I should be doing. I feel like I'm not only failing in Scripture studies and personal prayers; I feel like I'm failing in other areas as well. I feel like I'm struggling with reverence. I feel like I'm struggling with Sabbath Day observance. I feel like I'm not making the best choices.
With these challenges, and the consequential reduction of prayers and scripture study on my behalf, I feel like more questions have arisen. I feel like I'm questioning things I once felt sure about. And the timing of this could not be any worse.
I've started working on my mission papers, and because of all these struggles I'm having, I feel like I'm doubting whether I can be an effective missionary. I'm questioning whether I can do this. Part of me thinks that this is exactly what the adversary would have me believe. He wants me to feel like a failure.
And I guess that's why that verse spoke to me today. If I allow the adversary to creep in, if I allow him to lead me away, I can expect to have a harder life than the one I had before I was a member. I can expect to face to worse from my Heavenly Father. He is more forgiving to those who have transgressed without knowledge of His full gospel than He is to those who knew it and have forsaken it. I don't want to be one of those people is slow to remember their Father. I don't want to become one of those people who slips away. I know I need to make some changes in my life; and that starts by putting Him first AGAIN. Somewhere along the lines I let Him go from my first priority to another number on my list. And that has got to change.
It's been said by some that if you aren't progressing, then you are retrogressing. This whole experience has taught me that that is true.
But you know what else I've learned? Experiences like this may be a test of faith, but these are the types of experiences that bring you closer to the Father and the Savior. I wouldn't have joined the Church without an experience like this because that experience humbled me. I didn't think I needed religion until I had nothing else to fall back on but what little faith I had. While these experiences are challenging in the moment, the weight of the load can be made lighter through Jesus Christ. And, my goodness, I'm truly grateful for that!

On Personal Progress

So the YSA Sisternaries recently asked me to start working  on the Young Womens Personal Progress program.
I honestly didn't know how to feel about that. On one hand, when my sister told me her family ward was making her do that, I felt like I dodged a bullet by joining the Church as an adult because that meant I would get to skip out on all that extra work.
On the other hand, since joining, I've wondered how different my teen years might have been had I grown up with "For the Strength of Youth" and the other youth programs. So, part of me was annoyed because now I would have all this extra stuff to do, and I'm a little old to be toting around a Personal Progress notebook. Actually, when I went to the YSA temple baptism night, and I pulled it out to read and get started on one of the projects, people were giving me funny looks as if I am this sort of loser who is well past 18, and who still hasn't finished it. I felt like I flunked a grade, and every one knew it.
But, to their credit, once I told them I was a convert, and that my missionaries asked me to work on it, they changed their demeanor, and were eager to answer any questions I had.
Anyway, the sisters asked me to work on it, and to pick a value based on which attribute I scored lowest on in Preach My Gospel. So, I ended up picking Choice and Accountability. And it has been a real challenge. Even before they asked me to work on this, I have been struggling with making my scripture study and personal prayers a priority. I'm not really sure where I started slipping because I used to read the scriptures daily, and praying, well, I've never really been good at that, but I did it at least once a day. And now, I'm ashamed to say it's once every other day or so.
And I can feel that as I slip in these areas, I'm starting to feel less and less worthy to pray. And it makes it that much harder to do it. I know that this is the adversary at work, that he would have me believe that I am not worthy to pray, that I don't have time to pray, that I'm too tired to pray, etc., and praying is something that has always been difficult for me, and he's trying, and succeeding at making it harder for me.
The other day I reread my patriarchal blessing, and it says for me to make prayer a priority, to read the scriptures often, and to read the words of the modern prophets and leaders whenever it's made available. And I remember that at the time that my patriarchal blessing was given, I thought that that stuff was so obvious and that I didn't need to be told about that. But now that I am struggling in those areas, I see why the Lord gave that counsel. How foolish of me to think that I would never stop reading my scriptures, and stop praying. How foolish of me to think that the counsel given to me then wouldn't be useful to me someday. But how grateful am I now to have that counsel now when I really need it!
I know that when the Sisters proposed I take this on, I wasn't too thrilled about it. And it has been really difficult to do Personal Progress on top of every thing else I'm trying to work on. But I am so grateful that they did suggest it. I was struggling with scripture study and personal prayer before and I wasn't sure how to get back in the habit of it. With their help and their guidance, I have found a way. I don't think it's something I'll finish in a timely manner, but I feel like as long as I make a little bit of progress daily, then I'll be alright. :)
Peace out, y'all.

Grateful for Temples and Temple Ordinances

Wow. It's been a while since I've posted anything here. Not to say that nothing has happened, because a lot of exciting stuff has happened since my last post, but I guess between all the writing in my journal, in letters to friends, and in emails to my missionary friends, I neglected my blog. Haha.
So, be prepared, because this is gonna be a long one!

In early March, I was interviewed by my Bishop for a temple recommend on temple grounds. What an incredible experience! I had my eyes shifting between him and the main entrance of the temple, knowing that soon I would get to cross over that sacred threshold. After we had both signed the recommend, he said my countenance had immediately changed, and that both the temple and I were glowing. I could feel it from the inside. I felt overjoyed and full of life in that moment. 

Flash forward a few weeks, and I'm finally being interviewed by my stake president. He had been away for a few weeks on a family vacation. It always amazes me that he knows who I am since I'm a convert and I didn't grow up in the Church. He interviewed me at the church building during our three hour block. Bishop Patron actually came to pull me out of the temple prep class to meet with President Jex. When I went back to class, everyone knew that I had my recommend all ready to go. I was so excited!

Bishop Patton and his wife were going to a wedding in Gilbert, Arizona; they invited me to go with them. They suggested I receive my endowments there, and then witness the sealing of their friend with them. I was all for it! We tried to arrange it with my Sisternaries, Kemp and Olsen, who were both home now from their missions. But it didn't really work out for them, so I told myself, "well, I could still go without them; but it wouldn't be the same." Besides, the ordinance is the same no matter where you go, so, it really didn't matter where I went so long as I had my friends there with me. Being the first member in my family, I knew that this was an experience I would not get to share with my family; so it was important to me that I got to share it with friends. 

Kemp was coming down to California for a week during her spring break anyway, so I thought it would be best to just arrange to go to the temple then. I decided on Friday, the 17th of April because Kemp would be here then; Sister Moore would be at the temple for her departing trip anyway, and I really wanted to see her, too! Olsen said she would make it down for that, and made arrangements, and every thing was good to go! 

Or so I thought! Turns out I would have a midterm on the 17th. I had to push my 9:00am session to the next one at 1:00pm; which meant I wouldn't get to see Sister Moore anymore. And then my professor said that if your last name was "A-J," you would take it from 9:30-10:30; and if your last name was "M-Z," you would take it from 10:30-11:30. I was freaking out because I was supposed to be at the temple at 11:30. But my professor allowed me to take it with the first group. She showed up late, and I was worried it would effect my punctuality. I imagined that if I was late to the temple, that I would have to do it later. I don't know if that's true because I ended up making to the temple by 10:45. I think my midterm went relatively well. I probably rushed through it, but I felt like I knew 90% of the material. 

When I got to the temple, I walked around a bit, and then met up with the Pattons, Kemp, Olsen, and another former SFV return missionary, Cottrell, at the Visitors' Center, and we kind of just killed some time by watching some videos there. 

By 11:15 we all figured we should start walking towards the temple. Kemp and Olsen wanted to take some pictures first. I'm not a fan of being in pictures because I feel like I usually end up looking stupid. Haha especially since my glasses always show a glare. But I indulged them. Haha 

When we went to the temple, all the workers there were super friendly. And they kept saying that it was all about me, and that I was a VIP, and so on; which made me a little uncomfortable because I'm not used to being the center of attention. Hahaha. But it wasn't so bad. Overall, they were just super friendly, so, I figured they probably do that for all own-endowment temple guests. 

Putting on my garments was the greatest feeling ever. I immediately felt the power that they have, and I have never felt so beautiful as I did in that moment. I did my initiatory, and after getting dressed, went to sit with Kemp and Olsen while we waited to hear from the temple matron. I tried to take it all in, and tried to process all that was said and promised to me. It was kind of overwhelming, but in a good way! 

When the three of us started talking, I felt so grateful to have them on either side of me. Here were two young ladies who traveled across a few state lines to be there with me, two young ladies who I admire and look up to, and who helped me to grow from the train wreck of a person I was before. I couldn't help but think that this was the way it was supposed to be. Not to say that it was destiny, because I don't believe in that, but I believe that God has a plan for us. Of course, our agency, our choices, can either get us closer or further away from His plan for us. I believe that me being at the temple with my missionaries was part of His plan for me. 

When we went up to the Creation room, and waited for the rest of the people to join us, I saw Sister Moore for a bit! It was awesome! I mean, I just waved to her from across the room, because she was leaving; so, I didn't really see her, but even that felt like a huge blessing!

When the session started, I felt so grateful that I had read the Book of Moses. It helps to understand so much! The whole time, I felt grateful that a member of the temple presidency allowed both Kemp and Olsen to be my escorts. Hahaha. Not to say that either of them was (or were?) lacking in their escorting abilities, but I had twice the amount of help, and I definitely felt like I needed it. Haha.

Upon crossing the veil, I felt a rejoicing in my heart because I made it into the Celestial room, a place I've been longing to go since that life-changing experience in the Gilbert, Arizona temple. And I saw a bunch of familiar faces standing in a half-circle, waiting for me. And that sight made me so happy, I felt like I could cry. But I didn't. Not a half a second later, I realize I was the center of attention again, and felt uncomfortable again, and I didn't know what to do, so I just said, "hi." And they all softly laughed at me. Haha I guess that's not normal. Everyone kept asking me how I felt, and I didn't even know how to put it into words. It's this incredible, slightly overwhelming, slightly confusing, but a mostly joyous experience. When you're in the temple, you start to realize just how much The Lord loves each and every one of us. I don't think I'll ever fully comprehend that love He has for us in this lifetime, but I know that through continual attendance to the temple, I can understand more, a little bit at a time.

Anyway, a few days later, I felt impressed to check my ancestry.com profile, as it's been a while since the last time I logged on. I had a few hints to review. My grandfather's name came up on a 1930 Mexican Census done in Sinaloa. The other names listed in that household matched the names of his parents. So, I asked my mom if her dad's family had ever lived in Sinaloa, and she said, "no, his family is from Jalisco, Guadalajara." And I was so confused, because as far as I had known, my mom's side of the family is from Durango, and Guadalajara has never been mentioned for my mom's side of the family. So, I was nearly heartbroken about it. I went back to look at the census, and looked at the other names in that household, and asked her if he had any siblings, and she started listing off the same ones that were on the Census. So, I asked again, "are you sure they never lived in Sinaloa?" And she was like, "OHHH!! Haha. I thought you were asking about your dad. Yes, they did."

So, I was able to take the names of my great-grandparents to the temple on the 23rd. As I was waiting for my turn in to the baptismal font, I sat there and just had the strongest impression that my great-grandparents were there with me. I could feel that they were pleased that I had joined the Church because it meant that they could have the work done for them now. And I felt overwhelmed with the Spirit, and I put my head down in my hands, and I just started crying and silently laughing in my happiness.
Something I realized yesterday, as I was sitting in sacrament meeting, listening to all the testimonies being given, was that I didn't cry when I was baptized, and I didn't cry when I received my endowments; but I did cry when I had that experience with my great-grandparents in the baptistery. I didn't realize it then, but I'm sure that I cried because these ordinances weren't just for me or about me; they were about my family. Yes, it's great that I joined the Church; in fact, it was the best decision I've ever made. And people are constantly telling me that my posterity will forever be grateful for me and the decision I've made, because I was the first; but I know that both sides of my family, both past, and future, are grateful for that. My children will be born in the Covenant, if I marry a solid member of the Church whom I can go and be sealed to in the temple for time and all eternity. And I know that (some, if not all of) my ancestors are desperately waiting for their turn to have the ordinances done for them. Finding them is going to be the hard part, but I know that I'll have help along the way!
So, this past Thursday, the 30th, I took my great-grandmother's name upstairs to do her initiatory. As I sat there waiting for my turn, I was thinking about the experience I had had the week before. And I started wondering, "how can I make it so that every name I am baptized for is that special to me? What can I do differently so that every person I'm being baptized for is that important to me?" And that's when it hit me; I went in with a different mentality because it was the name of a family member. I treated that name differently because I was her descendant. While I know I'm not actually related to the name I'm usually baptized for, I know that they are family members of someone. And I know that they are Spirit children of a Heavenly Father, as am I. And in that way, we are related. So, after I finished doing initiatories, I went back downstairs to the baptistery, and this week, I had been feeling a little under the weather; so, I didn't do baptisms. But I did do confirmations. Before they started, I reminded myself that these names were my Sisters from a Heavenly Mister, that these were the names of my Spirit family members. And boy, did that make a difference! I could feel that the veil was thin, and that they were full of gratitude towards me, for the fact I changed the way I looked at it, for the fact that I was not longer looking at it as some random people who died ages ago, but that I was now looking at it as my long lost relatives. There's a saying, "change your attitude, and you can change your life." I know that the same is true for the temple ordinances, only, if you change your attitude, you might change your experience. Not to say that you're going to have an amazing experience every time,  but I know it has helped me.

The temple has been such a huge blessing to me from the beginning. I know that it turbo-charged my conversion process. Haha. I have no doubts that I would still be a member today even if I had not gone on that temple trip last winter; but I think it'd would've taken me a lot longer to make that decision. I know that God gave me that amazing and overwhelming spiritual experience because He knew it would take a lot to convince me; I am pretty stubborn, after all. I think He knew that had I not gone on that temple trip, my investigating would have probably taken months.

Looking back at my life, I think it's funny that the things that I am internally fighting so hard are the things I end up loving the most. The harder I try to push away or distance myself from something, the more it means to me in the long run. I can say that about my travel experiences, I can say that about certain sports and activities, I can say that relationships, and now, I can say that about the Church. The "Mormon Church" literally weirded me out; I wanted NOTHING to do with it. I only bothered letting those Elders in because I didn't want to be rude. I was too afraid of being mean to them, that I couldn't bring myself to tell them I was not interested. And there were things about the Church that I had issues with. But I kept my very different opinions to myself, for the most part; but inside, I was struggling. I knew the way I felt in my heart, but the way I was thinking wasn't agreeing with what I was feeling. My intellectual side was fighting with my emotional reaction to the Church, But I started reading the Book of Mormon, and I attempted to give it a real chance, and I started praying; and slowly but surely, the intellectual side and the emotional side of me were agreeing. And then I had that experience in the Gilbert temple, and I knew that this was right. I knew that this was another one of those things that I fought against so hard, and that I would end up loving. And it has been. It has been such a blessing to me; and I cannot and do not want to imagine my life from here on out without the Church in it. Letting the Elders in that day in December 2013 was literally the best decision I have ever made, and I wasn't even happy with that decision at the time. Hahaha. Sometimes, the best things to happen to you are the things you didn't want to happen in the first place.

In this show I used to watch, "Parenthood," the matriarch of the family at one point tells her daughter-in-law, "I've never been so happy to be so wrong about anyone." I can't help but feel that way about the Church sometimes. Everything I knew, or everything I thought I knew, about the church was completely wrong. I'm constantly learning, constantly growing, constantly building my testimony of the restored church of Jesus Christ. And every time I go to the temple, I'm adding another brick to the foundation on which my testimony is mostly built upon. You'll constantly hear missionaries tell people to read the Book of Mormon, to pray about it, and if the Spirit tells them it's true, then that means Joseph Smith was a Prophet, then that means he really did restore the true church of Jesus Christ and all the keys of the Priesthood, and so on. And while I know all of that is true, I think for me, it kind of happened differently. I think I had a testimony of all that, but I don't think it was really solidified until I went to the Gilbert temple. In a way, my testimony worked backwards. I knew that the power of the Atonement I felt in the temple that day was real, I knew that the temple really was the House of the Lord, and I knew that the priesthood was necessary to perform the ordinances inside the temple, and then I knew Joseph Smith restored those keys, and then it confirmed to me that the Book of Mormon was true. For me, it all started with the temple, but it doesn't end there. As Elder J. Ballard Washburn once said many years ago, "we go to the temple to make covenants, but we go home to keep the covenants we have made." I know I must keep pressing forward, doing my best to keep my covenants, to follow the commandments, to be a disciple of Christ in all things and in all places. I just wanted to share my experiences with whoever felt like hearing about it. Haha.

Anyway, I've gone on long enough now.

Wishing you all the best,
          Reeree

Totems and Callings

I was watching Brother Bear recently, and if you haven't seen that movie, stop reading this, go watch it, and then come back because there is going to be some spoiler alerts here. Or you can read my following synopsis! :)

Anyway, this movie is about a young Native American(?) man living somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere back when mammoths still roamed the earth. In his tribe, the shaman gives every person a totem of a certain animal and a certain attribute that they are supposed to allow to guide their lives. It's like a coming-of-age kind of thing. They seemingly receive their totems in their teenage years, where guidance is probably most needed. And once they've proved to be living true to their totem, they are esteemed as an adult, and can put their handprint up on their ceremonial cave wall where all their ancestors have. Getting your handprint there is seemingly a huge rite of passage in his tribe. Kenai is given the totem of the bear of love. And he's not happy about it. He doesn't understand why he got love, he wanted something like bravery or strength. And he even jokes about trading his totem. 

Kenai seems to be in his teenage years. He doesn't take too much responsibility for his actions, and believes he can take on the world, and bears, on his own. Overall, he just seems a little "too big for his britches." 

But back to the bears! As a result of Kenai's lack of responsibility, a bear steals his brothers' fish, and Kenai decides to retaliate. This confrontation between he and the bear leads to the death of his eldest brother, Sitka. Again, he tries to retaliate, and ends up killing the bear. He then experiences a magical transformation, and becomes a bear himself. The shaman recognizes him and tells him that he needs to right his wrong if he wants to be a human again. 

Shortly after, he meets a bear cub named Koda. Koda is trying to get to the salmon run, a place where all the bears meet up and have what is essentially a family reunion. Koda asks Kenai to take him there since it's on way to where the shaman told Kenai he needs to get to. So, most of the story is that of their journey. All the while, Kenai's other older brother, Denahi(sp?) is hunting him. Denahi thinks Kenai, in his bear form, killed Kenai as a human, so thinking that he lost both of his brothers to bears, he goes mad with the idea of killing the bear that is actually Kenai.

When Koda and Kenai eventually reach the salmon run, all the bears take turns sharing their most exciting story of the past year. Koda is eager to share a story of his mom fighting some hunters, which triggers something in Kenai, and Kenai then realizes that the bear he killed was actually Koda's mom. Koda is quite understandably upset about this, and Kenai decided to give him some space. Kenai heads to the mountain the shaman told him to go to, and says what is essentially a prayer. He asks Sitka for some help. Right then, his other brother shows up and starts trying to kill him, and Koda shows up to try to help him. Right as Denahi stabs Kenai, he is transformed back into a human. Koda is frightened of him, at first, but then runs up and hugs him. Kenai, out of love for Koda, decides to return to his bear form, and he finally gets to put his pawprint on the wall. 

My thoughts: 

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, you are sometimes given a "calling (i.e. a position or an assignment)." These callings vary from teaching the children, being a secretary, or being the bishop, who is in charge of watching over the whole congregation. While some callings are harder than others, they are equally important in the eyes of God. 

But  sometimes when we get a calling, we can feel the same way Kenai did about his totem. He didn't understand it, he didn't like it, and he'd rather do/have something else. As a convert, I feel like I am the least suitable person for any calling. A year in, and I still don't know a lot about the Church and its inner workings. I don't know anything about the Primary program, or the Young Women's program, or Duty of God. Luckily, I am still in YSA. But I'm a little scared for the day when I have to go to a family ward, because while most of it is the same, there are somethings I have no experience with yet. So, when it comes to the calling I have, I feel like there are better choices for this position than I am. 

But just as Kenai thought it was a mistake, and understood later why he got the totem that he did, we all eventually reach some sort of understanding about our callings. Kenai started off thinking about his totem in a selfish manner. He only though about himself, and didn't embrace his totem. But as he grew to love Koda, he realized that his totem wasn't about himself. It was about loving others, specifically Koda.
Similarly, sometimes our callings might not be about us, it might be about the people we're serving. On the other hand, while we may not be the best person for the calling we've been given, it might be the best calling for us at that point in our lives. Some callings help us grow, and some callings help us to help others grow. I think it's important to embrace the callings we've been given, especially if we're scared of them.  We should not look at them as if we're not worthy to do them, or as if they are beneath us. But we should magnify our callings, and and ask ourselves not only "how can I better help those I'm serving to grow" but also ask ourselves, "how can I grow from this?"
:)

"If You Believe All These Things See That Ye Do Them"

(Previously posted on my Facebook page on February 13th, 2015)

#SpiritualThoughtOfTheDay I just finished the book of Mosiah in the #BookofMormon. Chapter 26 talks about how some of the people who had just been baptized by Alma and his brethren were being led away from the Church and into sin by unbelievers. Being the high priest, Alma was asked by members of the Church to do something about it; so Alma turned to Heavenly Father and asked Him what he should do concerning these sinners. The Lord tells Alma that he and his brethren should teach the people to repent, ask forgiveness, and be baptized. Those who did would be judged according to their sins, and should then be forgiven. And those that did not repent would have their names blotted out. So, Alma and his brethren did as they were told.

"And now all these things did Alma and his fellow laborers do who were over the church, walking in all diligence, teaching the word of God in all things, suffering all manner of afflictions, being persecuted by those who did not belong to the church of God (verse 38)."

What stuck out to me most was that Alma and his comrades "[taught] the word of God in all things." To me, that means that they not only read or preached the principles taught in the scriptures, they LIVED the principles taught in the scriptures. And they didn't just do this when it was convenient for them; they did this all the time, even if it was not "cool" or not the "popular opinion." These guys were literally harassed for sharing their faith with others, but they kept doing it because they were commanded to, and they knew it was the right thing to do.

One of the members of the Granada Hills Stake Relief Society presidency recently told us (the YSA Relief Society), "if you love this gospel, live it (or something like that)."

In his October 2014 General Conference talk, "The Preparatory Priesthood," President Henry B Eyring said, "even more powerful than using words in our teaching the doctrine will be our examples of living the doctrine."

When we take upon ourselves the name of Christ, we are vowing to be like Him. We are committing to follow His ways, and live our His principles. We are committing to practice His loving attributes every hour of every day. It is not always an easy path, but it is always the right one.

I am so, so grateful that I made that commitment. I know that I will never be exactly like Him, but I know that I am trying, and that, my friends, makes all the difference.

:)

#ScriptureADayKeepsTheDevilAway #JesusChrist #ShareGoodness #ReadGoodness

(the scripture in the title is Mosiah 4:10 in the Book of Mormon)