Alma 24:30

"And this we can plainly discern, that after a people have been once enlightened by the Spirit of God, and have had great knowledge of this pertaining to righteousness, and then have fallen away into sin and transgression, they become more hardened, and thus their state becomes worse than though they had never known these things."

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been struggling a lot with doing the things I know I should be doing. I feel like I'm not only failing in Scripture studies and personal prayers; I feel like I'm failing in other areas as well. I feel like I'm struggling with reverence. I feel like I'm struggling with Sabbath Day observance. I feel like I'm not making the best choices.
With these challenges, and the consequential reduction of prayers and scripture study on my behalf, I feel like more questions have arisen. I feel like I'm questioning things I once felt sure about. And the timing of this could not be any worse.
I've started working on my mission papers, and because of all these struggles I'm having, I feel like I'm doubting whether I can be an effective missionary. I'm questioning whether I can do this. Part of me thinks that this is exactly what the adversary would have me believe. He wants me to feel like a failure.
And I guess that's why that verse spoke to me today. If I allow the adversary to creep in, if I allow him to lead me away, I can expect to have a harder life than the one I had before I was a member. I can expect to face to worse from my Heavenly Father. He is more forgiving to those who have transgressed without knowledge of His full gospel than He is to those who knew it and have forsaken it. I don't want to be one of those people is slow to remember their Father. I don't want to become one of those people who slips away. I know I need to make some changes in my life; and that starts by putting Him first AGAIN. Somewhere along the lines I let Him go from my first priority to another number on my list. And that has got to change.
It's been said by some that if you aren't progressing, then you are retrogressing. This whole experience has taught me that that is true.
But you know what else I've learned? Experiences like this may be a test of faith, but these are the types of experiences that bring you closer to the Father and the Savior. I wouldn't have joined the Church without an experience like this because that experience humbled me. I didn't think I needed religion until I had nothing else to fall back on but what little faith I had. While these experiences are challenging in the moment, the weight of the load can be made lighter through Jesus Christ. And, my goodness, I'm truly grateful for that!

Totems and Callings

I was watching Brother Bear recently, and if you haven't seen that movie, stop reading this, go watch it, and then come back because there is going to be some spoiler alerts here. Or you can read my following synopsis! :)

Anyway, this movie is about a young Native American(?) man living somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere back when mammoths still roamed the earth. In his tribe, the shaman gives every person a totem of a certain animal and a certain attribute that they are supposed to allow to guide their lives. It's like a coming-of-age kind of thing. They seemingly receive their totems in their teenage years, where guidance is probably most needed. And once they've proved to be living true to their totem, they are esteemed as an adult, and can put their handprint up on their ceremonial cave wall where all their ancestors have. Getting your handprint there is seemingly a huge rite of passage in his tribe. Kenai is given the totem of the bear of love. And he's not happy about it. He doesn't understand why he got love, he wanted something like bravery or strength. And he even jokes about trading his totem. 

Kenai seems to be in his teenage years. He doesn't take too much responsibility for his actions, and believes he can take on the world, and bears, on his own. Overall, he just seems a little "too big for his britches." 

But back to the bears! As a result of Kenai's lack of responsibility, a bear steals his brothers' fish, and Kenai decides to retaliate. This confrontation between he and the bear leads to the death of his eldest brother, Sitka. Again, he tries to retaliate, and ends up killing the bear. He then experiences a magical transformation, and becomes a bear himself. The shaman recognizes him and tells him that he needs to right his wrong if he wants to be a human again. 

Shortly after, he meets a bear cub named Koda. Koda is trying to get to the salmon run, a place where all the bears meet up and have what is essentially a family reunion. Koda asks Kenai to take him there since it's on way to where the shaman told Kenai he needs to get to. So, most of the story is that of their journey. All the while, Kenai's other older brother, Denahi(sp?) is hunting him. Denahi thinks Kenai, in his bear form, killed Kenai as a human, so thinking that he lost both of his brothers to bears, he goes mad with the idea of killing the bear that is actually Kenai.

When Koda and Kenai eventually reach the salmon run, all the bears take turns sharing their most exciting story of the past year. Koda is eager to share a story of his mom fighting some hunters, which triggers something in Kenai, and Kenai then realizes that the bear he killed was actually Koda's mom. Koda is quite understandably upset about this, and Kenai decided to give him some space. Kenai heads to the mountain the shaman told him to go to, and says what is essentially a prayer. He asks Sitka for some help. Right then, his other brother shows up and starts trying to kill him, and Koda shows up to try to help him. Right as Denahi stabs Kenai, he is transformed back into a human. Koda is frightened of him, at first, but then runs up and hugs him. Kenai, out of love for Koda, decides to return to his bear form, and he finally gets to put his pawprint on the wall. 

My thoughts: 

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, you are sometimes given a "calling (i.e. a position or an assignment)." These callings vary from teaching the children, being a secretary, or being the bishop, who is in charge of watching over the whole congregation. While some callings are harder than others, they are equally important in the eyes of God. 

But  sometimes when we get a calling, we can feel the same way Kenai did about his totem. He didn't understand it, he didn't like it, and he'd rather do/have something else. As a convert, I feel like I am the least suitable person for any calling. A year in, and I still don't know a lot about the Church and its inner workings. I don't know anything about the Primary program, or the Young Women's program, or Duty of God. Luckily, I am still in YSA. But I'm a little scared for the day when I have to go to a family ward, because while most of it is the same, there are somethings I have no experience with yet. So, when it comes to the calling I have, I feel like there are better choices for this position than I am. 

But just as Kenai thought it was a mistake, and understood later why he got the totem that he did, we all eventually reach some sort of understanding about our callings. Kenai started off thinking about his totem in a selfish manner. He only though about himself, and didn't embrace his totem. But as he grew to love Koda, he realized that his totem wasn't about himself. It was about loving others, specifically Koda.
Similarly, sometimes our callings might not be about us, it might be about the people we're serving. On the other hand, while we may not be the best person for the calling we've been given, it might be the best calling for us at that point in our lives. Some callings help us grow, and some callings help us to help others grow. I think it's important to embrace the callings we've been given, especially if we're scared of them.  We should not look at them as if we're not worthy to do them, or as if they are beneath us. But we should magnify our callings, and and ask ourselves not only "how can I better help those I'm serving to grow" but also ask ourselves, "how can I grow from this?"
:)

"If You Believe All These Things See That Ye Do Them"

(Previously posted on my Facebook page on February 13th, 2015)

#SpiritualThoughtOfTheDay I just finished the book of Mosiah in the #BookofMormon. Chapter 26 talks about how some of the people who had just been baptized by Alma and his brethren were being led away from the Church and into sin by unbelievers. Being the high priest, Alma was asked by members of the Church to do something about it; so Alma turned to Heavenly Father and asked Him what he should do concerning these sinners. The Lord tells Alma that he and his brethren should teach the people to repent, ask forgiveness, and be baptized. Those who did would be judged according to their sins, and should then be forgiven. And those that did not repent would have their names blotted out. So, Alma and his brethren did as they were told.

"And now all these things did Alma and his fellow laborers do who were over the church, walking in all diligence, teaching the word of God in all things, suffering all manner of afflictions, being persecuted by those who did not belong to the church of God (verse 38)."

What stuck out to me most was that Alma and his comrades "[taught] the word of God in all things." To me, that means that they not only read or preached the principles taught in the scriptures, they LIVED the principles taught in the scriptures. And they didn't just do this when it was convenient for them; they did this all the time, even if it was not "cool" or not the "popular opinion." These guys were literally harassed for sharing their faith with others, but they kept doing it because they were commanded to, and they knew it was the right thing to do.

One of the members of the Granada Hills Stake Relief Society presidency recently told us (the YSA Relief Society), "if you love this gospel, live it (or something like that)."

In his October 2014 General Conference talk, "The Preparatory Priesthood," President Henry B Eyring said, "even more powerful than using words in our teaching the doctrine will be our examples of living the doctrine."

When we take upon ourselves the name of Christ, we are vowing to be like Him. We are committing to follow His ways, and live our His principles. We are committing to practice His loving attributes every hour of every day. It is not always an easy path, but it is always the right one.

I am so, so grateful that I made that commitment. I know that I will never be exactly like Him, but I know that I am trying, and that, my friends, makes all the difference.

:)

#ScriptureADayKeepsTheDevilAway #JesusChrist #ShareGoodness #ReadGoodness

(the scripture in the title is Mosiah 4:10 in the Book of Mormon)

Blessed With Spiritual Strength

(previously posted on my Facebook page on February 12th, 2015)

I was reading the book of Mosiah in the #BookOfMormon, and a few scriptures stuck out to me.

Mosiah 24:15 "And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, The Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully to all the will of The Lord."

Mosiah 23:20 "Nevertheless The Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith."

Mosiah 23:2 "And The Lord did strengthen them, that the people of king Noah could not overtake them to destroy them."

I know that we experience trials in our lives for a purpose. It is not to punish us, but to test our resilience, test our courage, and to test our faith. When we face adversity, we can find strength with the Father. He will bless us with the strength to make our burdens seem smaller if we only ask Him to. They will not disappear, but they will seem lighter.

#SpiritualThoughtOfTheDay  #ScriptureADayKeepsTheDevilAway #SpiritualStrength #ReadGoodness #ShareGoodness